Chaos at Michaels Bank today, as an intruder bypassed an imposing set of security precautions to collapse the elevator vault of “Karnaca’s premiere valuables repository.” The celebrated vault, one of the last remaining Kirin Jindosh wonders in the Isles, smashed through the floor of the bank’s atrium to the sewers below. There’s no word yet about any injuries or deaths from the accident.
Bank officials sought to allay fears as customers swarmed the bank, demanding their valuables. A harried Carly Roberts, Customer Service Director, issued the following statement: “I can assure our customers that the despicable intruder who destroyed our vault will be brought to justice. Please be patient while we conduct an inventory to determine if any items were stolen or if this was merely a malicious act of vandalism and mayhem.” The bank has engaged a private firm to investigate the crime.